


Toxic Emmasculation

by Hemoptysis (orphan_account)



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castration, Dead Nazis, Episode: s05e14 Ozymandias, Gen, Guns, Killing Fascists, he shoots walter in the dick bro. idk what else to say about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 20:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21021443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Hemoptysis
Summary: Jesse shoots Walter in the dick. Literally, that's the whole fic. Diverges from Ozymandias.





	Toxic Emmasculation

**Author's Note:**

> this started as a joke with someone way earlier last year, and i wrote the first few paragraphs as a joke, but then i realized that it was far enough to make a ficlet out of it, so here we go! lmao

_ Click_. The sound of a gun cocking echoed into the New Mexican desert. Jesse swallowed back bitter, angry tears. "Say it."

Walter didn't budge. His stare was cold, remorseless. "What, didn't you hear me the first time?" He chided Jesse like a disappointed father speaking down to his severely abused child. "Jesse, you won't do it. After everything I've done for you, I–" He cut himself off, shaking his head. There was nothing but complete disgust, contempt in his words. "You don't have the balls."

Jesse had never been so bothered about a comment against his masculinity. Well, not until this particular moment, when he felt a rage against all things that Walter said to him. After every insult, every bruise and nightmare this man had caused, Jesse had enough. He lowered his gun, but not fully. "You really wanna talk about _ balls_, Mr. White?" His gun pointed directly toward the direction of Walter's genitals. "It's all about being a man, huh? Provide for your family, be the perfect _ family man_?"

“Jesse, I’ve done all of this for my family, and I’ve done it for _ you_.” Walter snarled. “You’re only too _ stupid_ to see it.”

Jesse bit back tears of anger and hatred. “What, man? What -- what, I’m too stupid to get why you let Jane die? Why you poisoned a child?” His words were loud and harsh, trembling with emotion.

The bodies of Jack and his Neo-Nazi gang lay on the ground surrounding them. Jesse wasn’t excited about adding more people to his fucking _ kill count_, but in a fit of rage, he knew it was either him or _ them_. Perhaps Jesse wasn’t the most upstanding guy in the world. Fuck, he still viewed his existence in the same way he’d once referred to himself, as _ the bad guy_ . The guilt of what he’d done to Gale still weighed on him like a pile of bricks made of lead. At least he wasn’t a goddamned Nazi, though. At least he felt _ bad_ about what he’d done. As far as he was concerned, killing fascist assholes was far from the worst thing a person could do. It wasn’t as if those psycho fucks would ever be any benefit to society.

It wasn’t as if _ Mr. White_ would, either, after everyone he had hurt.

“So, I poisoned a child, and in _ your_ eyes, doing _ this_ is far more redeemable?” Walter glared at Jesse. He hadn’t made any moves yet, though Jesse could only figure that was because there was a gun pointed at his _ family maker_. “Wow, _ Jesse Pinkman_. Just -- _ wow_. You’ll be honored as a _ saint_ for your emotional depth and capacity to hold a dying man at gunpoint when he’s at his lowest point.”

God, there he went again with his mind games. It wasn’t as if Jesse was proud of this, but _ something_ had to be done, and Jesse was absolutely furious. Glaring, Jesse kept the gun pointed in the same place. “All this time, and you didn’t tell me about Jane.” With angry tears streaming down his face, he shuddered at the thought of how long he’d gone without knowing. “That time in the lab, with the fly, when you said you should’ve died then… You _ knew_ what you did was wrong, but you couldn’t tell me?”

“Jesse, I couldn’t tell you because I _ needed_ you to keep working with me. I needed you for the cook, for the money.” Walter’s words were sounding less like a plea and more like an insult the longer he spoke. “You were the only one who ever did what I wanted. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Gritting his teeth together, Jesse practically spat the words out. “All you ever did was lie to me and manipulate me, and for what? The _ money_ ? Was that worth Brock? Was it worth Jane? Was hurting all of these other people and their families -- was that for your _ family_, too?”

Walter was indignant. “Do you really think you’d understand? _ You_, a junkie burnout who couldn’t get anywhere without making meth? You don’t know a single thing about making sacrifices for your family.”

“You’re the reason I _ didn’t_ get anywhere,” Jesse protested, his hand shaking. “You’re the reason I have _ nothing_, man. You took away everything from me.”

“Go ahead and tell yourself that, Jesse, if that’s what makes you sleep better at night. You know well enough that what you’ve done is just as bad as what I’ve done.” Incredulous, he gestures to the bodies surrounding them. “You’ve racked up this body count, and for what? So you could have this one little moment of betrayal?”

Enraged, Jesse cried out loud, “Shut up!” He couldn’t even believe Walter’s reasoning; as if killing Nazis would ever compare to poisoning innocent children and murdering the loved ones of his work partner. “I’ve had it with your bullshit, Mr. White! I can’t do this anymore! Why did you do it?”

Walter, of course, was ready to test Jesse. “Why did I do _ what_?”

“Why did you---” Jesse barely suppressed a sob. “Why’d you poison Brock? Why’d you kill Jane? _ Fuck_ , man, why’d you kill _ Mike_?”

A somber silence filled desert air. Birds circled above the two men, the same two that Jesse had watched when a gun was put to his head earlier. Jesse barely moved an inch, staring at Walter and breathing heavily. Tears spilled down his face relentlessly. He felt like he was going to keel over from this, but he still didn’t move against all temptation to do so. 

Jesse had to get an answer out of him.

So, Mr. White delivered.

“I did it because I wanted to do it,” he confessed. “I did it for myself. _ All_ of this, I did for myself.”

In response to this, Jesse could only cry _ more_. He cocked the gun, and Walter glanced to it in that very moment. Whether he was nervous about it or not, deep down, Jesse couldn’t tell. He couldn’t read shit about him. Still, Mr. White answered.

“I did it for myself, and I would do it again.”

That was all the answer Jesse needed. Taking a deep breath, a cry wracked his body, causing him to tremble uncontrollably. Then, in a moment of sudden sobriety, of clarity and awareness, he pulled the trigger.

And he shot Walter White right in the dick.

The End.

_ Bitch._


End file.
